Friday, August 17, 2018

Try to imagine...

     Honestly, I wish it was finished. Please don't let it be misconstrued that I revel in this horrific tragedy, because I don't. I have cried for Jessie, I have cried for her and her family. On her birthday this year, I was knee-deep in paperwork about this case and I had to just step away from it, my heart stays heavy with an obligation to a girl that I never knew. I have spent more than 40 hours a week thinking about/investigating this case. I wish I had read all the information and could just accept that Vonda was the only one guilty and let it go. I can't though. I can't unlearn the things I have learned about this case.

     I feel the pull to discover everything I can because it is the very least that can be done for her family. 
     A lot of people spend weekends doing fun things with their family. My husband and I have spent most weekends for the past couple of months out driving routes, timing those routes, applying them to a timeline that seems to never be just right. What I am saying is, I have a lot invested in this and I am determined. I don't feel the need to add drama for a good story, I don't want twists and turns, I want the pure, unobscured truth, no matter what that turns out to be. 
     I feel sorry for Vonda's family as well. The people that feel in their soul that she could have never been any part of this, I feel bad for them. I can put myself in their shoes and it would also be crushing. There are no winners in this story. There is no celebration, only hope that anything I can find out will help provide some sort of peace for Jessie's family. 
Topix is a cesspool of ignorance, mostly. I do have to say though, when trying to find little pieces of information to link people together, it can be invaluable. I don't post on Topix, but I have read a lot of it. I usually gag at some point. Anyway, this is how I came across the idea that people think less of Jessie and her family. I saw things like, "That girl was a slut, and trashy." , "She got herself into a big mess because of drugs." and "What do you expect would happen to a girl with 3 kids with different dads at her age?" 
     Statements like that infuriate me and even though I have encountered a lot of cruelty and ignorance in my life, I cannot for the life of me imagine justifying a comment like any of those. I have read people slandering not only Jessie but her family. I don't take anyone's word for anything, especially now. So you know what I did, I put in the work and the effort and I reached out to her family. You know what? They were some of the kindest, hardworking folks I have ever met. They are very different from me but they are not less or deserving of anything that has happened to them. The lies that have been posted about them say a LOT about the person posting them and nothing about the people they are supposed to be about. 
    Jessie's mother, Tammy, works two jobs... 12-hour shifts mostly 7 days a week. They have a nice house and rely on no one for help or assistance, not that there would be anything wrong if they did.
    I just want you to try to imagine...Try to imagine planning on spending the night with your daughter and grandsons only to arrive and she is missing. Try to imagine the frantic sense of urgency as a gut feeling, one only a mother could have, hits you in waves as you drive to the person's house that was known to be with her last. The panic, overwhelming nausea and anger when you can't get answers from the person that person. 
    Imagine the trip to the police department. 
    Don't just judge and try to pretend you would do things differently. Tammy did exactly what any mother would and should do, she set out to find her daughter no matter what it took, and she did. It was a devastating discovery that crushed her in every way, but she found her. 
     Try to imagine a cop asking you if your daughter had any distinguishing marks on her body! As a parent, stop yourself right now and imagine that. If you have ever lost track of your child at the park for even 3 seconds you know that feeling of terror, well Jessie's family has had that since the night of August 12, 2016. 
     I will state again, I have no relation to anyone involved in this case. I just have a heart. 
     Till next time...

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